Sunday, June 23, 2013

Baffling Stupidity of the Book of Revelation

Absurd and Terrible Things Held to be True

If Christians are victors in the last days WHY do they keep trying to change what's happening?
     You would think that if believers truly believe that the world will end just as Revelation says it will they would not worry about anything, right? I mean, the Bible is very clear when it comes to which side achieves victory. Which side is that? God's side. That being the case I find it perplexing that so many Christians/believers sit around their spiritual campfire telling stories of how everything is already at the doors of hell and how all of God's children must be on the lookout for the evil surrounding them. 

     Some of these people even try to stop these supposed terrible things from happening as is shown in the ideologies of those evangelical groups that are always hatching some dumb-ass delusional plan to 'take America back' for Jesus. Groups like this are particularly devoid of logic and fail to realize that in their very own religious texts it states that Satan will gain control of everything in the end times of the Bible. EVERYTHING.

     So on the one hand you have religious groups claiming that the Bible is absolute truth and nothing can change anything as foretold in the Bible, and on the other hand you have religious groups trying to prevent these things from happening even though the Bible says they absolutely will. Do you see the stupidity of this? These idiots cannot have it both ways. They cannot say that the Bible is absolute truth and all of these really bad and scary and terrible things of the end times are happening at this very moment and then turn around and try to change these things from happening. To try to do so is to try to go against God's own words from the Bible.

     Evangelical John Hagee is notorious for his fiery and passionate sermons in which he often states that the last days are NOW.

     Hagee is also notorious for urging atheists to leave America and that America is going to continue to be a Bible reading nation under God. The stupid bastard fails to recall that in his own Bible it notes that everything collapses as the nation pulls away from God. If Hagee is claiming the last days are here (which he does claim) he is wasting his breath in telling the atheists to leave because to do so is the opposite of what Hagee claims is happening according to the book of Revelation. Stupid mother fucker.

Revelation 9:16 says, "I heard the size of their army, which was 200 million mounted troops."
     Just for you rapture enthusiasts to know...there are only about 60 million horses in the entire world. And that is a generous number considering most counts put the number of horses at about 58 million. Seems like Senor Messiah is going to have to find almost one hundred forty-two million horses for His mega army somewhere else. Say, maybe Pappa God the Creator can whip up a batch of horses in an instant much like He created all of the land animals on the sixth day of Creation. Could be.

An army of robots is currently being created by our government?
     Some Christians watch wayyyy too much television while at the same time trying to connect the dots of movie fiction and Bible fiction. Idiots.

The book of Revelation cracked open? No, but I bet the people who believe this shit are on crack.
     Why do Christians constantly talk about 'putting the pieces of the puzzle' together when it comes to the last days? You would think that an all-powerful God could manage to get His message through to people in ONE piece instead of splinters and fragments of stories that the religiously deluded fight over.

Where do you get your claim that EVERYONE knows we are on the verge of apocalypse?
     No, you dumb asshole, everyone on the earth does not know or believe or think that humanity is on the verge of apocalypse. You DO like to claim such being as though it makes you and your violent visions for mankind appear as a possibility. And of course there are a lot of people who believe this because the media consistently portrays only the sad and scary and evil stories and situations of mankind and they do this because this type of news reporting makes a lot of money and draws a lot of attention. 

     All of the negative news reports make it look like there is far more evil in the world than there is good. This is a huge mistake since what is really happening is all of the good and happy and uplifting news is largely left out. Just because most of what is reported is bad that does not make everything bad. Just because good and happy news is rarely reported that does not mean good and happy and excellent things rarely happen.

It is always the same with you people...the earth is ALWAYS on the verge of God's total wrath.
     Hah! A new religion is emerging from Christianity and Islam? You are an idiot! These religions are not merging because they have always been the same. They are both built on ludicrous spiritual texts and ravings, both claim to be inspired by THE one and only divine being of the universe, both aim to run the world, both accuse the other of being the enemy or the infidel or the destroyer of all that is good, and both have killed and continue to kill in the name of their faith.

     The Antichrist will call down fire from heaven and make an inanimate object come to life? Hummm. Didn't God call down fire from the sky on Sodom and Gomorrah? Didn't God take some dirt and form it into the shape of a man (an inanimate object) and then bring it to life? So, when God does the very same things that you claim are evil it is okay? You people are fucking stupid.

Utter Stupidity
     This video would have you believe that very specific information about the last days are given in the Bible. Really? Is that why the predictions always fail and why various denominations bicker endlessly over when the last days are and when Jesus is most likely to return? That there is some specific information.

The mystery of the horsemen in Revelation revealed?
     Ahh, here we go again with 'alarming patterns' as foretold in the book of Revelation being brought to fruition. Jesus Christ, people. You have GOT to come up with a better story because the one you have now just isn't working out for you and your alarmist spirituality. God is SO powerful that He gives people signs about what is happening so they will not be fooled by the devil. 

     God brings this proof of truth to man so that those who understand will know what God is up to. This is utterly retarded, because if God's believers and followers already know and understand shouldn't God be giving this supposed irrefutable information to those who do NOT believe in God? If people already believe there is no point in revealing anything to them because they already know.

Look out Number Thirteen; you've got some competition.
     It appears as though the inherent bad luck and evil of the number thirteen is surpassed by that of the number seven.

The Shifting Paradigm
     See, if you have trouble swallowing the bullshit of the Bible all you have to do is get some special code from this same Bible that, much like a cereal box decoder ring, will decipher the nonsense banter of the Bible into something you can understand and that will make sense of everything that has ever happened in the world. And if you can stand just right and turn your head in just the right fashion you will be able to see all of the prophecies that Jesus and God want you to see in the precise manner in which they want you to see it.

Do you hear what I hear?
Uh-oh...I hear sounds I have never heard before. Since I have never heard it before or heard OF it that must mean it is a direct sign from heaven that Jesus is finally back from His two thousand year sabbatical. Quick! Repent! Put that last cookie back into the cookie jar and admit you are a sinner and need God.

     If those hell-bent on interpreting the strange sounds as divine in origin had simply taken the time to look up such phenomenon they not only would have found the truth, but they would not have frightened themselves or others so badly.

Do you see what I see?
     No matter what the disaster is many Christians find a way to integrate such things into their ideologies. It is both offensive and cruel that these religious nut-jobs would so callously label the suffering and tragedy of other people as a validating factor for Christianity and its tenement gospel.

Nothing New Here
     Check out the date of this video. Not the post date but the date it was made: 1978. Seems as though Christians back then were just as fanatical about Armageddon and the signs of the last days. Here we are, thirty-plus years later and STILL there are those who cling to biblical rubbish.

     Here we are with another misguided, but well-meaning interpretation of Revelation.